Elena Agafonova

Coach | Author | Career Pivot Guide 🌱

Letters of Change A weekly reflection on change, self-trust, and finding your way forward Begin where you are

Hello and welcome, Reader!

A few years ago, I worked with a senior executive who was going through one of the most difficult periods of his life.

His marriage had ended. He was trying to rebuild a relationship with his son. Sleep had become unreliable. Thoughts circled endlessly through the night.

At the same time, his professional life looked successful from the outside.

He held a senior leadership role at a large wholesale company distributing sportswear and accessories. He was responsible for dealer networks, revenue, and key business relationships.

At the same time, he had launched something of his own: a retail business specializing in kick scooters. He had invested his own money, built a team, signed leases, purchased inventory, and taken responsibility for every decision.

If you looked at his life objectively, you could say that change had already begun.

Yet when we started working together, he wasn't talking about opportunity or growth.

He wasn't even talking about strategy.

The question he kept returning to was:

"Am I still good enough?"

When Starting Doesn't Feel Better

Many people imagine a career change as a moment.

A decision.

A breakthrough.

A leap.

But often it feels nothing like that.

Typically, it feels messy.

The old life no longer fits comfortably.

The new life doesn't yet feel stable.

You're moving forward, but not quickly enough.

You're learning, but not confidently enough.

You're trying, but not seeing results fast enough.

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When the Old Version of You Still Works

The executive I mentioned wasn't struggling because he lacked skills.

Quite the opposite.

He was highly competent and experienced.

He knew how to succeed inside an established organization.

The challenge was that his new business required him to be a beginner again.

And that was unfamiliar.

Inside a large company, experience, expertise, and proven competence had served him well.

Building something of his own required something else: the willingness to experiment, make decisions without complete information, and learn as he went.

For most of his life, his professional identity had been clear.

He knew how to answer the question:

"What do you do?"

Now the answer felt less obvious.

Part of him was still the senior executive.

Another part was becoming a business owner.

One identity was proven.

The other was still forming.

And for a while, he tried to hold both.

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Why This Stage Feels So Uncomfortable

When people say they want change, they often imagine changing what they do.

What surprises many of us is that meaningful change also asks us to change how we see ourselves.

That process rarely feels graceful.

The old identity still works.

You can return to it.

Trust it.

Rely on it.

The new identity feels unfinished.

Less competent.

Less certain.

More exposed.

And that can create a strange tension:

• You know you're moving forward.
• Yet you don't feel settled.

• You know you're changing.
• Yet you don't feel transformed.

• You know you're growing.
• Yet some days it feels like you're simply struggling.

This is one reason why so many intelligent people underestimate the emotional side of reinvention.

The challenge is not always choosing a direction.

Sometimes it's learning to stay with yourself while you become someone you have not fully met yet.

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A Gentle Reflection

Think about the changes you are trying to make right now.

Perhaps the most important question isn't:

"How do I make this work?"

Perhaps it is:

"What part of my old identity am I still holding on to?"

Sometimes progress becomes visible only after we stop trying to return to who we used to be.

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If You're Looking for Company Along the Way

Last week, I shared a guide to seven books for people who feel stuck in the wrong career.

Different books offer different kinds of support. Some help us explore possibilities. Others help us understand ourselves during periods of uncertainty and reinvention.

If you're looking for thoughtful company during your own transition, you may find something useful there.

​7 Books for People Who Feel Stuck in the Wrong Career​
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One thing I've noticed recently is how often different people describe similar experiences in completely different words. Whether through quiz responses, messages, or conversations, the details vary, but the feeling of standing between an old chapter and a new one appears surprisingly often.

Thank you for trusting me with those reflections.

Until next Wednesday,

Elena

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P.S. If this Letter brought someone to mind, feel free to share it with them. Sometimes knowing that a transition is normal makes it a little easier to navigate.

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