Elena Agafonova

Coach | Author | Happiness Explorer 🌱

Letters of Change A weekly space for happiness, self-trust & the art of living well Let’s begin gently

Hello and welcome, Reader!

Last week, I wrote about a moment in a career transition when the direction becomes clearer.

Not perfectly.
But enough to understand what no longer works
and what you would like to build instead.

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When we first started working together, my client began to recognize what he was moving away from.

Years in banking had taken him to a senior position within a structured hierarchy.
And then, after a merger, that chapter ended.

But even before that, something wasn’t working anymore.

The environment.
The lack of visible impact.
The distance between his work and the people it was meant to serve.

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At the same time, something else started to take shape.

He wanted to work with technical, innovative solutions.
To create something that would actually change people’s lives.
To see the real impact of what he was doing.

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For the first time, this wasn’t just an idea.

It felt like something he could start building.

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When Clarity Meets Resistance

At first, he didn’t doubt that he had everything he needed to move forward.

He approached the transition seriously.

• He mapped out the IT landscape.
• Reached out to people in his network. Asked for introductions and spoke with professionals across different roles.
• Explored forums, LinkedIn groups, and industry platforms to understand where he could realistically enter and grow.

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The picture was becoming clearer.

Where he could fit.
Where his skills and strengths would be useful.
What steps he could take next.

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And yet, in practice, things didn’t move as smoothly.

He would hesitate before reaching out to someone new.
Leave a message unwritten.
Delay a conversation that could open the next step.

Just enough to keep things in motion,
but not enough to really move forward.

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When we looked closer, it became clear this wasn’t about discipline or motivation.

It was something more subtle.

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Hidden Fears and Commitments

On one hand, he had a clear intention:

• To move into a new field.
• To be more proactive.
• To build something different.

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On the other hand, there was another, less visible commitment:

• To avoid being seen as inexperienced.
• To avoid rejection.
• To avoid making mistakes in front of others.

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Both were present at the same time.

And they were pulling in different directions.

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This is a pattern I often see.

Even when we know what we want,
part of us is still trying to stay "on the safe side".

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Working With, Not Against It

What helped was not pushing harder.

And not trying to eliminate the fear.

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But acknowledging it.

And then moving in smaller, more manageable steps.

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Instead of “become confident and visible,” start with

• one conversation,
• one message,
• one step that feels possible.

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Not to prove anything.

But to experience that moving forward is still safe.

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Over time, this changes something important.

The fear doesn’t disappear.

But it stops being in control.

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In many career transitions, this is the real work.

Not only understanding what you want,

but learning how to move toward it while fear is still present.

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I wrote more about this stage in The Midlife Career Pivot, where clarity meets action—and the hidden dynamics in between.

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You might recognize this moment.

When you already have a clearer sense of what you want for your next chapter.

You even know what steps to take.

Yet, something still holds you back.

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What feels just slightly outside your comfort zone right now?

With warmth,

Elena