Elena Agafonova

Coach | Author | Happiness Explorer 🌱

Letters of Change A weekly space for happiness, self-trust & the art of living well Let’s begin gently

Hello and welcome, Reader!

It rarely starts with a big decision.

More often, it begins with something small.

A thought that passes quickly:

“Tomorrow is Friday… good.”

And you notice the relief is slightly bigger than it should be.

Or a moment in a meeting — an important one, the kind many people would want to be part of — and suddenly:

“What am I doing here?”

Nothing dramatic follows.
You stay. You continue. You do your work well.

From the outside, everything still looks… right.

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I remember someone who used to love being on stage.

She was a natural speaker. Confident, engaging, often invited as a headliner at industry events. It was part of who she was.

Until one day, she noticed something strange.

When a new invitation arrived, she didn’t feel excited.

She felt… resistance.

Not fear exactly. Not even anxiety.

Just a quiet, heavy no she couldn’t explain.

So she ignored it.

Because nothing was “wrong.”

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This is the phase we often miss.

Not because it’s unimportant.

But because it doesn’t look like a problem.

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Earlier in my work, I used to help people navigate what we called dilemmas.

Not problems to solve, but tensions to live with.

• Being decisive… and staying open
• Staying loyal… and staying true to yourself
• Moving forward… and allowing rest

There is no single right side.

But when someone unconsciously chooses one side for too long, something begins to shift.

At first, very quietly.

A signal.

A discomfort.

A loss of energy in places that used to feel natural.

---

With careers, it often looks the same.

You don’t suddenly “hate” what you do.

You simply begin to outgrow it.

And instead of asking what that means,
we explain it away:

“Maybe I’m overthinking.”​
​“It’s just a phase.”​
​“It’s fine.”

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But “fine” is not always neutral.

Sometimes, it’s a pause between who you were
and who you are becoming.

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This is not the moment to rush into change.

Not yet.

It’s a moment to notice.

To become curious.

To ask, gently:

Where in my life do I feel slightly disconnected?​
​What started to feel heavier… even if nothing changed externally?​
​What am I no longer fully inside of?

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Most people don’t move at this stage.

Because there is no clear reason to.

And yet, this is where something important begins.

Not action.

Awareness.

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At some point, it helps to stop asking
​“What should I do next?”

And instead ask:

“Where am I right now?”

Not as a label.

As a starting point.

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I recently turned this into a simple way to help people see themselves more clearly.

If you feel somewhere in between “everything is fine” and “something isn’t right,” you might find it useful.

Take the Quiz

With care,

Elena