Elena Agafonova

Coach | Author | Career Pivot Guide 🌱

Letters of Change A weekly reflection on change, self-trust, and finding your way forward Begin where you are

Hello and welcome, Reader!

There is a version of “stuck” we don’t talk about enough.

It doesn’t look like confusion or a lack of ideas.

It looks like this:

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When even small choices disappear

I once worked with a woman who had been leading a company for many years.

She grew with it from the very beginning.
It wasn’t just a job. It was part of her life.

At some point, she understood that this chapter was coming to an end.
But she had no sense of what could come next.

We started talking about her preferences.
Not big decisions, just simple things.

And I asked her:

“What do you like to eat?”

She paused.

And then said:

“I don’t know.”

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It wasn’t about food.

It was the first time she noticed
how far she had moved away from herself.

After years of responsibility, decisions, and external expectations, there was no space left for even the smallest “I want.”

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When effort is not the issue

Another conversation stayed with me.

A CFO who had recently left his role came for coaching.
Not to change his career direction, but because something wasn’t working.

He was going through interviews, but kept getting rejected.

On paper, everything was right.
Experience, level, track record.

But something didn’t land.

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When we started talking, it became clear:

He was carrying a lot at once.

Pressure.
Uncertainty.
Responsibility for his family.

And even without saying it directly,
this state was visible.

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It did not appear as a weakness.

But as a kind of heaviness
that others could feel immediately.

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What “stuck” actually means

This is the part that is easy to misunderstand.

When you feel stuck, it’s tempting to think:

• “I need more clarity.”
• “I need a better plan.”
• “I just need to push myself.”

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But often, that’s not what is missing.

What’s missing is energy.

• The energy to look honestly
• The energy to feel what you’ve been avoiding
• The energy to consider change without shutting down

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Stuck is not laziness.

It’s what happens when something no longer fits
and you’ve been holding it for too long.

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The in-between phase

This creates a quiet tension.

You know something needs to change.

But you don’t feel capable of changing it.

So you stay in between.

Thinking about it.
Avoiding it.
Returning to it again.

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This is not the moment to force a decision.

It’s the moment to understand where you are.

Not in theory.

But in reality.

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A different kind of next step

At some point, reflection alone becomes exhausting.

You keep thinking… but nothing moves.

And that’s usually the moment when it helps to pause and ask:

Where am I right now in this process?

Not as a judgment.

As a way to stop going in circles.

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I recently created a simple way to help people see that more clearly —
to understand where they are and what kind of step actually makes sense from there.

If you’ve been feeling stuck, but not quite sure why,
you might find it useful.

See Where You Are

With care,

Elena