Hello and welcome back Reader!

Last week, I offered you an exercise: Islands of Happiness — a gentle practice to help you look back and spot the moments in life that brought you joy, energy, and meaning.

Since then, a few people reached out with a different kind of reflection:

That’s the point where doubt often sneaks in. And it’s exactly what this letter is about.

Here are three stories that might feel familiar.

This Is What Becoming Looks Like

Imagine waking up around the age of 35 and realizing your true calling might be to live in a remote mountain village and help others prepare for the climb. No family, no "normal job," no mortgage like your mother dreamed for you. In fact, you didn’t even know this was what you wanted — until half an hour ago.

Or maybe you’ve always seen yourself as the creative mind — the one who starts things while others handle deadlines and money. But suddenly, you realize that when a project spins out of your hands, even the best idea can’t save it. What actually brings you alive is not just vision, but watching systems work — and when that truth clicks into place, it becomes clear why your business partnership has felt off for years. The irony? You fought hard to get that creative-only role.

Or imagine being 40 and finally sitting down to name the chapters of your life that felt most out of sync — the Islands of Unhappiness. Two false starts at university. A year in the army, taken on impulse. Years spent trying to fit someone else’s version of success, while quietly ignoring the call to help others open up and speak honestly about their inner lives. For decades, you dismissed that calling as unrealistic. But now, looking back, you see the thread. Even in the hardest seasons, something meaningful was trying to surface. And now, for the first time, you might be ready to follow it.

An Invitation to Reflect

If you feel lost or unclear, you are not behind. You are in a sacred pause — a space between who you’ve been and who you’re becoming.

Psychologist Erik Erikson believed that identity isn’t a one-time achievement. We return to it again and again, especially during transitions: midlife, reinvention, parenthood, loss, even global shifts. The question "Who am I, really?" doesn’t disappear with age — it just deepens.

And if you’ve spent years being who others needed you to be — the helpful one, the stable one, the achiever — it can feel unsettling to peel back those roles and meet yourself anew.

But this is not regression. It’s renewal.

Two Paths You Might Be On​
​1. You don’t know what you love.​
Try the Islands of Happiness exercise — and trust that noticing moments of joy (even small ones) is a form of truth-telling. You can begin here.

2. You know what lights you up, but feel overwhelmed, uncertain how to begin.​
Here are three questions I often hear, with gentle responses:

Gentle prompts

Instead of asking What do I love? try:

• What sparks even a little curiosity?

• When do I feel most like myself?

• What would I do, even if no one ever noticed?

Or: If I didn’t need a label, who would I let myself become?

Let the answers come in fragments.

Meaning has its own rhythm — and it often begins in quiet.

Want to dive deeper?

If you'd like to go deeper, read my book The Midlife Career Pivot, especially the chapter How to Be Born Again. Or start with the free chapter Putting It All Together, where I share one full story of a turning point — and what came after.

If this letter stirred something in you, just hit reply — I read every message.

And if you’re not yet subscribed to receive these weekly reflections, you can do that here. No pressure — just a soft place to land.

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Warmly,
​Elena